Author Archives: Frank Dux

Everything Stupid Part 7 “Shoes”

Everything Stupid Part 7 “Shoes”
So this Bill Black posted a pic at Dunks of what he viewed as some "fuck me" shoes.  Not the smartest thing to post on a town page and more along the lines of something you'd text or snap your buddy, but the shit storm that followed is amazing, enjoy. Score one for the Donald here, if nothing else "grab her by the pussy" is turning into a National slogan. "You're fat", and "show us your cankles", Bill is officially on the defensive and pulling out the big guns. Ok, Read more [...]
Share This

Everything Stupid Part 6 “Brockton”

Everything Stupid Part 6 “Brockton”
Did someone skip class the day they taught you the difference between through and threw?  If I saw you and knew you'd complain on a public forum that someone "thru" an egg at your windshield I'd throw a fucking dozen at you. You broke up with a girlfriend because of the way she ate her food?  So you never shared a meal before you started seeing each other, you just skipped going on dates and one day saw her chew with her mouth open and you bounced? You must get some serious ass Jim, Read more [...]
Share This

Everything Stupid Part 5 “Bad Colleen”

Everything Stupid Part 5 “Bad Colleen”
Bad Colleen!  How dare you kick someone the hard way and be humiliate with no manners. Hey Nena, to call what you speak "broken Engrish" would be a slap in the face to anyone that actually understands the language.  "The center is for help people in need and it say not lucrative", just reading that fucked up excuse for a sentence just dropped my IQ a few points. Seeing the word therapist spelled "teraphist" kind of just made my day.  Sorry John, I don't think Nena understands Read more [...]
Share This

Everything stupid Part 4

Everything stupid Part 4
Good thing proper grammar isn't a prerequisite for cooking.  What the fuck is Gulf Pacific Rice anyways?   You're lucky a maggot *and bugs* were the only things you found crawling around in it.  Chartiy Guld?  Stick to Uncle Ben's next time I find it hard after reading this that you've even completed a first grade English class.  I have no idea what this post is even trying to insinuate and that's sad.  What the hell is a rashguard for gi?  For a second I thought I saw the initials Read more [...]
Share This

Everything Stupid Part 3-The Animals

Everything Stupid Part 3-The Animals
Well holy shit Dorene, sound the alarm!  A real live skunk is on the loose, and in broad daylight no less, I forgot they were nocturnal creatures!  It's a fucking skunk, not a mountain lion, so worst case you'll need a massive amount of tomato juice but I'm so glad you took the time to warn the town.  Not all heroes wear capes. Hopefully someone wasn't trying to report a murder while you were tying up the police phone lines because some raccoons were in your dumpster feasting on last Read more [...]
Share This

Everything Stupid Part 2

Everything Stupid Part 2
Are you fucking serious with this question Diana?  You should head up to the Town Hall before they run out of lemonade permits.  If you do decide to live dangerously though be forewarned i've seen those lemonade swat trucks out there, huge penalties for running one without a permit so tell your kids to mix that shit up inside and get ready to run if they get raided. I'd like to hangout with Marianna, chick knows what she wants and could give two shits about "political correctness." I Read more [...]
Share This

Everything Stupid Part 1 Free Advice

Everything Stupid Part 1 Free Advice
Free Advice Everything stupid is going to be a weekly/bi-weekly blog dedicated to the insufferable people who utilize town pages as their outlet for any dumb fucking question that enters their small minded brains.  So without further adieu....   Props to Jared for knowing the basics of advertising for dummies, FREE FREE FREE is the way to grab peoples attention.  Basically not functioning washer?  Let me translate: I have a dryer that's old as fuck and if you come take it you Read more [...]
Share This

Facebook Suckbags

Facebook Suckbags
When you check-in somewhere and someone comments, "Thanks for inviting me!" First of all, if you're a guy and write this then just kill yourself now. Contrary to their popular belief, not everyone that goes out for a drink scans their entire friends list first to see who wants to go.  Sometimes it's just a casual last minute thing, or it's just brief and they don't wanna be out too long, or maybe they just don't think of inviting everyone they fucking know!  If this is something you do then Read more [...]
Share This

Wahhh, I wanna move to Cali!!

Wahhh, I wanna move to Cali!!
It's cold in the Northeast, like -degrees cold, so brutal your eyeballs hurt when you walk outside, when you lose you breath for a split second and Arctic air cruelly invades your lungs.  When this happens every year you get the inevitable statuses by females on how they need to move to Cali. I've been there, many times, and I love it.  San Fran is cool, Joshua Tree and Mojave are sick if you like that stuff, San Diego is awesome and so is La Jolla, LA is LA, and Venice Beach is like this small Read more [...]
Share This